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A Heart Love Story

Our bodies are made so magnificent. It is beyond words how each part works together, allowing us to laugh, cry, love, feel, smell and enjoy this wonderful world of beauty.

I don't know about the rest of you, but my little mind is very busy! Every minute it is thinking. It goes here and it goes there, trying to find thoughts to run through my being. I was told to set my timer for 30 seconds and see if I could stop thinking. Guess what? I couldn't!! My mind just kept on going, and going.

 In my case, a lot of times these things are negative, things that make me worry. Things that look so big and ugly. Things that can scare me.  There are so many things happening around us these days. Bad things. Shootings, hurricanes, wild fires, earthquakes, wars, sad experiences that happen right in our own life.  So many bad things that could overtake my whole being. Yes, my little mind is a busy little fellow.

But you know what? Deep inside of me lays another little being. I like to think this little being lies deep in my chest. This little being is my soul, my heart, my feelings....its me. I have learned that my thoughts aren't me. They are just something that makes my world what it is. Deep inside me is the real me. My heart, my soul.

Sometimes my heart is sad. It is sad because I am thinking to much about what is going on around me. So it just sits there inside my chest, quiet, patient, waiting....waiting for me to calm down so it can take me to a quiet place and we can sit for a while. My heart wants to show me the real meaning of life. It wants to help me to love, laugh, dance and reach out.

So when life gets about to much, I slowly walk away from my work and slowly walk across the lawn and across the little plank bridge and over to my quiet place. There I sit down and look up into the dark blue sky above.  Not a cloud is there. It is just a pure dark blue velvet stretching from east to west, from north to south.

My cell phone is in the house on the kitchen table. My computer is leaned up against the couch. My husband is off working in the field. My dishes stand dirty in the kitchen sink. A pile of dirty cloths lay in a heap on the utility room floor. I have left all behind. My heart has called to me. My heart has told me that it has something to tell me. So I sit there quiet waiting.

As I sit there, I look up into that dark blue beyond and I see it. There above me soaring so gracefully in that blue crystal clear sky is the form of an eagle. I watch as its black form glides so free out over the clearing, up over the single tree top, and circles around and comes back over me and off into the great beyond. It is as if it is held in place with an invisible string, just flying way up there above every hindrance.

Then my heart talks to me. "Do you think it is possible to fly free like that eagle? Do you think it is possible to be happy, to laugh, to dance, to love, in this world where your mind is so busy?'

I just sit there for a long time, looking up into those dark blue skies. I just watch that dark form gliding there above me. I can feel the tension slowly ease from my body and I can feel a happy warm, cozy feeling come into my little soul, my little heart.

Then I hear myself whisper "Yes I believe I could soar like that eagle. Yes I would love to live up there above all that thoughts that run raging through my mind."

I sit for a while longer and then my heart specks again. "We are friends, you and I. I am who you really are. I am who you need to listen to. I am the one you need to come to when life gets to much and the waters get choppy. I am the one who will understand you, who will hold you, who will care for you. I live within your little soul and the God who made that dark blue sky, the waterfalls, the creeks,  the wilderness. The God who sends the lightening and thunder in the dark of night, lighting up the skies, He lives within me, your heart. We together will keep you safe."

I just sat there. No words would come. Only tears. I knew then that I was not my thoughts. I was not a person who had to suffer through life. I belonged to someone special. I belonged to my heart, my soul and my Creator. They would always keep me safe. They were there for me through any hardship. But I had to promise one thing.

Whenever I would cross over that little plank bridge, I would come alone. I would come empty handed. I would come with a softness about me.  I would never leave that quiet place to cross back over that plank bridge without first bowing my head and giving thanks to the Creator of all things.

Then out of nowhere my heart spoke again. "I know that you are afraid of struggle. I know that you are afraid of facing loss, of facing death of a loved one. I know that you fear the dark days. I know that you sometimes are afraid to just surrender to me and to God, because you may be asked to face something that you can't bear. I know you."

I once again sat there in complete silence. I just sat there wondering where all of this came from. Those words were so true. My heart knew me completely. From deep inside me I could feel something rising up. A fear. A resistance. Words were on the tip of my tongue to say "No I can't do this! I'm to afraid. I can't face life and its struggles head on."  But no words would come out. So I just sat there....silent.

Then my heart spoke again. It was as if it was in a whisper. I had to listen very hard to hear what it was saying.  "Did you know that when you are willing to go through a dark storm and the waters become choppy, that is when you and I become the closest. Did you know that in the deep dark experiences is when you will learn to love the deepest, care the most, and find the true meaning of living? Did you know that tears aren't something to be ashamed of or fear? Did you know that tears can soften the hardness felt in you dear friend, your heart? Did you know that in the depth of the storm, God will hold you the closest? Did you know that you will come out of the storm a totally different person than what you were when you went in? Did you know that the storm will do to you what nothing else can do? So please just trust me. I will never leave you. You can find me anytime you need to. I am within you chest. I am beating every minute, every second, putting life into your body. I am your friend. If you just trust me you will learn to laugh, to dance, to enjoy life to the fullest. And most of all you will know how to reach out, how to show true compassion."

I just sat there silent, tears rolling down my cheeks. Then I bowed my head and I gave thanks. I looked once again up into that dark, blue, cloudless sky and saw that my eagle had flown away. I got up, wiped the dirt from my jeans, walked back across that old plank bridge....back into my world.

As I left I heard that whisper." I'll be waiting here for you"......and I smiled....I smiled deep within my calmed self. My soul.

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