Dusty Roads to the Heart

Something happened in the surgery family room yesterday that I will never forget. I will never forget because it is imprinted in my mind and heart forever. There are some pictures that you witness that are just for you. A special lesson to the heart.  Here is mine that came to me yesterday. Around 3:00 in the afternoon, two middle aged women came into the waiting room. They each were pushing a wheelchair. In one was a sweet little lady with a smile that would melt the world. In the other was a younger man. He was very disabled. He couldn't talk. I watched as those two women parked the wheelchairs and made their loved ones as comfortable as they could. The woman who was pushing the young man came to my desk and asked if I had the remote for the TV.  "Sure" I said giving it to her.  "Thank you," she said, "This will give him something to do while we wait."  With that she walked back to the wheelchair and sat down beside this young man. I walked ove...

Authors Note:  I have decided to share "the other side of me" with you. I have decided to share it because I know first hand what it is like to live in a world that holds you in the negative about everything. The world of your own mind, where fear rules. Just being around me or talking to me, you would never guess that I held all this fear, and negativity inside me.  No I would smile, I would appear to be calm and happy. I chose to hide my fear, to cover it up from others because I was ashamed. I didn't want others to know how I felt inside. I wanted to appear "perfect." But now I don't care. It is time to share. By the help of a miracle, I have come out from under this horrible grip of fear, out from under letting someone make me feel worthless, not only to others but also to God.  I will tell my story only because sometimes if you are honest you can help another. Somewhere out there you may be just like I was. Somewhere out there you may be wonderi...

The sun was shining in the dark blue Kansas skies. The day was a calm, beautiful 56 degrees. A flock of geese flew over head making their way south. A cow mooed off in the distance. All was still. All that was left of four beautiful days were the memories. The little ghosts dancing and talking all around us. "Good bye Grandpa"  "Come give Grandma a hug."  "Where is K. Grandpa?"  "We have to go now kids."   "Did you go to the bathroom?"   "Go in and take one more look around to make sure you have everything."  "Can we take a little bag of Lucky Charms for a snack Grandma?"  All these little commands were sounding around me as I stood there watching our six little people be loaded into the cars.  One was going east, and the other heading west. Leaving Grandpa and me here on the farm alone once more. As we stood together there on the porch, first the white car backed up and pulled slowly out of the drive way, little...

Sometimes it can take years to find real happiness within yourself. Sometimes it takes some hard blows to find pure happiness. Sometimes it takes walking beside someone to teach you the meaning of the words you speck. Sometimes it takes sharing in someone else's heartbreak, to teach you that silence and a arm around the shoulder, is the best thing. It is the heart felt happiness. It is the happiness that fills the soul and reaches on and on and on. It is the pure happiness that comes to help you with the experiences that life throws at you. We can be happy. But I have learned through life's experiences, what really gives me true happiness.  The other day my daughter gave me some words of wisdom. She said to me; "Mom you have to learn that you can't depend on someone else for happiness, you have to find it within yourself. Until then you will never know true happiness." A year ago last November, I walked into a small nursing home room of a dear gray haired ma...

A hot bubbly bath. The lights low. Soft music. All the days cares drift out of your mind, your heart, and in their place starts to bud the beginning of a new post for my blog. Thoughts start to grow deep in my heart, so I sit at my computer and share them with you. My mind can create many different types of thoughts. Then those thoughts affect my heart. I compare them with the weather sometimes. Have you ever noticed how the weather can be one extreme and then change to the opposite in the same day? Let me give you some examples. It is a hot, muggy early July day on the farm. The sun is beating down. Not a leaf is moving on the trees. It is so muggy, a person can hardly breath. Sweat drips from your forehead and it runs like a river down your back. In the late afternoon you notice a cloud in the southwest. It lays low on the horizon. The trees still stand quiet, and still. There is an eerie feeling in the air. It feels like the day is holding its breath, as that cloud starts to c...

The holiday seasons are once again upon us. This year I know the true meaning that they hold.  This year I know how to be truly happy during this season . This year I know that happiness doesn't come wrapped in beautiful paper with bows. It doesn't come in turkey around the table. It doesn't come sitting in front of the fireplace.  These things do bring happiness, don't get me wrong. It is just that these things mean more to me this year because of a friend I ran into a couple years ago. She took me to the other side of the holidays. She told me her story on how she became truly happy. So sit back and enjoy as I share her story with you. As we take you to the other side of the holidays. It was the day before Thanksgiving.  As she made her way into town, down Crawford street, and onto First, she was noticing the red, blue, white Christmas lights hanging in the small trees that lined the streets. She was heading to a little simple duplex where he...

Do you know what you did for me... that day? Do you know what your friendly smile did for me...that day? Do you know what you did for me when you walked just a little ways out of your way and called me by name, asking "How's your day going my friend?" No....I don't think you did. I know that you didn't. I know because we were strangers really. We had only meant one afternoon when you were eating your lunch at Morrison House where you stayed while your friend was in the hospital. I happened to be volunteering that afternoon. As you ate along with two other families, you shared your friends story with us. The other families shared their stories, and a friendship must of evolved between us. A friendship that caused you to reach out to me when my world was tumbling down around me. "That day" I was working in the surgery family room. I was secretly having a stressful afternoon. My heart was aching and I was feeling a bit on edge. I was smiling, but insi...