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" Why is this happening?"

It is 4:00 in the morning.  Thunder crashes outside --- lightning fills the sky's.  Rain pours down.  In the fields stand uncut wheat.  Bushels of it. --We can't get it.  It is such a hopeless feeling.  As for me it doesn't have so much to do with the money part -- it is just the negative thinking that I fight. The deep inside feeling --- why?

There are fields and fields of uncut wheat in this area alone.  You look across the socked fields and see heads hanging low.  You also see weeds, grass, and green heads of wheat.  For three or four years we have had no rains.  We have wondered if we could keep the cattle.  Now it is the opposite.

Like I said this is not meant to be a "I feel sorry for you" post.  There are farmers all over that are in lot worse condition than us.  As I write this my mind can go to lots of people who face things every day that makes my small "negative" world look like nothing. 

This is one of those "tablet writings" that I usually don't share because it is for my personal correction -- but I want to share this one.  It shows the real feeling of a farmers wife and the negative thoughts she fights as she walks beside her husband everyday.  At least it is my experience.  I get to thinking "why him"  I realize this is not the right way to think.  Like I said there are so many more who suffer so much more deeply.

So -- with the lightning flashing and the thunder crashing I pull out my two new writings and read them with a ferry -- over and over I read them.  Someone told me -- "you fight negative thinking by thinking positive over and over.  Can I be brave enough to whisper "I think it is working?"

So over a period of weeks I will share with you my country "Love Is" and "Peace Is" that I have written. I want to take you along with me on the positive side of my little world of farming --

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