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My Friend and I

Do you have a "friend" that is so special to you --- that you can tell them anything?  Do you have a "friend" so close to you that you can pour your breaking heart out to them and feel the comfort of just letting go?  Do you have a "friend" that you can tell your deepest secrets to and know they will never be told again?  Do you have a "friend" who you can express your greatest joys to and know the world will never know?

Well ...I hope all of you have a "friend" like the above.  I really think, in this world we all need someone we can confide in.  Or maybe a place you can go to just relax and be yourself.  I have had a "friend" like this for sometime now and this post is celebrating a "milestone" we have reached together.

In May of 2014 I walked into Office Max and bought myself a plain writing tablet.  It had wide lines and the pages were attached at the top instead of the side.  In that tablet were one hundred empty pages.  I also bought a pack of pens.  The cheapest I could get.  When the cashier rang them up and told me it would be some $10.00 ---I never dreamed --I had just bought "my best friend".  That those empty pages would teach me so many important lessons about myself and life.

The reason for the "milestone" celebration is this:  I have just wrote my last story...my last feelings..in that old "fiend" of mine and have folded its covers to be stored away.  It has been by my side every day for six months. If you would walk into our living room , you would see it laying there on the coffee table...sometimes open, sometimes closed.  A pen beside it or on top...ready for a hand to pick it up and start to write.

It was my companion, sometimes in the middle of the day, sometimes early in the morning, sometimes late at night when all was quiet and asleep.  It was always there for me when something was troubling me...or my heart was breaking...or I was so overjoyed with Gods beauty.  Words would come pouring out into that old "friend"  Sometimes it just sat there. Open on the table...because my heart was not singing---and it just waited.

There has been joy coming from some of its pages, and some pages were wet with tears before I had completed them. I have wrote about my dreams and my fears there between its covers.  Some of those pages I have shared with you---and some are so deep and so personal they will never be shared.

On those pages I have wrote all about the beauties that surround me on our little farm...nestled down along our little creek.  Sometimes I share memories of childhood or our first days together as we started farming---the funny and the sad.  By writing there, I have been able to change my negative world into a positive one.  I now can see beauty in everything around me.  I love to listen to a song, or lift my face to the sun.  I love to walk hand in hand with my husband, down a moonlit road, or watch him with a new born calf.  I love to watch the grandchildren jump in the stock tank full of water, or look into their little faces full of laughter and giggles.  I love walking alone through the pasture or set under the old tree smelling new mowed alfalfa.  I see memories jumping everywhere out in the "north 40" among the weeds and tall grasses.  I love all of this---but most of all I love to set curled up in my old chair---pen in hand---putting on paper words to tell all about my beautiful, wonderful life as a mother and farmwife.

So...dear "friend"...with a mixture of joy and sadness...I fold your covers together...take a pen and write save on your face and place you in my box of unforgettable treasurers.  I will be visiting you from time to time, just like you do to a friend who means the world to you.  Thank you for helping me find happiness in my heart.  Thank you for adding meaning to my life.

I open the cover of a new tablet...pick up my pen once more.  On those empty pages before me ...I once again paint a picture that will hopefully help to color our world in love, hope, smiles, sunshine and thankfulness for each sunrise and sunset we are privileged to share together.

I love all of you. 





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