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Just Outside My Window

I am human. Sometimes my mind gets to going down the wrong path. Sometimes my negative thoughts won't stop. They just swirl and swirl, dragging my poor mind down and down.  A lot of times this happens at night. It happens after everything is quiet around me and I want to sleep. It happened last night. It happened, but something else happened too. Something that I want to share.

My husband and I was laying in bed and all was dark around us. Our bed was right up next to a window that came down to meet the bed. I was laying on the side next to that window. I was tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable. Trying to quiet my mind, my thoughts. I laid there listening to my husband quietly breathing next to me. He was at peace, asleep, I wasn't.

After a little while, I was drawn to the window. It was at the foot of the bed so I turned around and laid down so my face was just inside that window. I laid there and just looked out into the dark. The vapor light was turned off. All the lights in the house was turned off.  I just laid there looking out into the dark.

The moon must of been somewhere up there because as I looked out toward the west I could see the faint silhouette of the trees down by the creek. I looked up into the dark velvet of the heavens and saw there hundreds of tiny stars as they twinkled down at me. My mind was quieting, so I just laid there and looked at those stars.

I thought. "Where is God? Is He up there among those stars somewhere? Does He see me looking out of this window? Does He see that I am just a little person laying here looking out of this window....looking at His wonder of a creation, way up there in that dark velvet heaven that goes on and on for eternity? Does He see my mind, my heart? Does He know that sometimes it is hard down here on earth? Does He know that I love Him? Does He know that so often I go off  by myself into the big open outside and I think of Him?"

So I just laid there just inside that big window. I laid there thinking of God and His wonders. I thought of Him giving me life. I thought of Him caring for His creation. I thought of Him as He created all the wonders of creation. I thought of Him doing it just for me. I thought of Him up there in that big beyond.

My heart became quiet. My mind became quiet. My body relaxed. It did all of these things as I laid there just inside that window, looking up into that great big black sky, covered with tiny twinkling stars. I knew that He also wanted to be in my heart. He wanted to comfort me. Then my eyes must of drifted shut and I slept.

When the alarm sounded I found myself still laying there beside the window. I stretched and looked out. The stars had gone away. In their place was a beautiful light blue, orange, yellow dawn. The world was waking up. God had given me a new day. He had quieted my fear, my mind, my thoughts.

I just laid there for a little bit longer watching my new day wake up. I looked up into that now tinted sky and I said. " I love you God. Thank you for that experience last night. Thank you for showing me that I can trust You with all things."

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