It is still dark in our bedroom. I lay there --- wide awake. What had woke me up? I felt so uneasy --- so unsettled. Soon the alarm sounded. "What time is it?" I ask my husband. It was 5:30 --- oh if I could just get back to sleep --- if only for a little while.
I lay first on one side -- then on the other -- as negative thoughts run like water through my mind --- effecting my heart --- not bad thoughts --- just thoughts that made me feel uneasy --- unsettled.
With a sigh I say "I can't sleep so I am going out to the garden to work. Getting dressed I rush to the back door. As I opened it I saw a cloudy sky. The air had a kind of "misty smell" All was quiet and at peace. The world was just beginning to wake up. I took in a deep breath and walked to the feed shed for a bucket.
As I knelt in the garden ready to pick my first beans something drew my attention to the creek. I still had that "yak" feeling --- I didn't want to pick beans --- so I walked slowly to the creek. I crossed over to the other side --- where I had been working. A little island of sorts. I have been cleaning away dead trees and branches to make it my "quiet place"
Oh my goodness -- what a mess-- I hadn't been over here for awhile. A dead tree had fell and branches lay everywhere. I started to clean them away -- piling them to be burned. I must bring the mower over here --- on and on my mind raced. Filling with this to do and that to do -- trying to wash away those negative thoughts.
All of a sudden it was as if something told me "Go and set --- just set --- there on that bridge -- just set -- do nothing -- just set and listen. So -- slowly I dropped the branch I was holding and walked to the little bridge and sat down.
I just sat there --- looking around --- listening All was very quiet and still. Not a sound. It really wasn't beautiful --- that scene. The creek was dry -- the grass and weeds all sorts of heights -- the old dead tree laying across resting on another. The clouds still covered the sun -- but I sat there listening --- looking --- for what?
All was quiet --- still --- not a leaf moved. All of a sudden a turtle dove called its mournful song in the distance. I sat --- I listened --- there it was again --- who who --- who ---who. A little squirrel scampered across the tall grass to a tree. There it was again --- that turtle dove.
I looked around me -- that tall uneven grass -- that dead tree -- the dry creek bed-- the trees reaching up to the sky. I saw it all --- Gods beautiful creation -- waiting there -- each in their place -- waiting -- patiently -- quietly -- for the new day to begin.
I thought to myself --- "You are just like nature really. God made you wonderfully -- He wants you to trust Him -- He allowed you to wake up to another new day. You need to be content --- and most of all --- thankful.
So I sat there --- listening --- as creation around me waited --- for the new day to begin. I sat --- as my heart filled with new hope -- new thoughts --- because I belonged.
"I go to the garden alone --- while the dew is still on the roses"
You may wonder how I could write this after reading my previous post but this just shows you how human we really are, Some more than others. I just couldn't sleep this early morning so I got up and reread this post I had written some time back. Just reading it and placing myself there on that bridge once again made me see life as a privilege.
I lay first on one side -- then on the other -- as negative thoughts run like water through my mind --- effecting my heart --- not bad thoughts --- just thoughts that made me feel uneasy --- unsettled.
With a sigh I say "I can't sleep so I am going out to the garden to work. Getting dressed I rush to the back door. As I opened it I saw a cloudy sky. The air had a kind of "misty smell" All was quiet and at peace. The world was just beginning to wake up. I took in a deep breath and walked to the feed shed for a bucket.
As I knelt in the garden ready to pick my first beans something drew my attention to the creek. I still had that "yak" feeling --- I didn't want to pick beans --- so I walked slowly to the creek. I crossed over to the other side --- where I had been working. A little island of sorts. I have been cleaning away dead trees and branches to make it my "quiet place"
Oh my goodness -- what a mess-- I hadn't been over here for awhile. A dead tree had fell and branches lay everywhere. I started to clean them away -- piling them to be burned. I must bring the mower over here --- on and on my mind raced. Filling with this to do and that to do -- trying to wash away those negative thoughts.
All of a sudden it was as if something told me "Go and set --- just set --- there on that bridge -- just set -- do nothing -- just set and listen. So -- slowly I dropped the branch I was holding and walked to the little bridge and sat down.
I just sat there --- looking around --- listening All was very quiet and still. Not a sound. It really wasn't beautiful --- that scene. The creek was dry -- the grass and weeds all sorts of heights -- the old dead tree laying across resting on another. The clouds still covered the sun -- but I sat there listening --- looking --- for what?
All was quiet --- still --- not a leaf moved. All of a sudden a turtle dove called its mournful song in the distance. I sat --- I listened --- there it was again --- who who --- who ---who. A little squirrel scampered across the tall grass to a tree. There it was again --- that turtle dove.
I looked around me -- that tall uneven grass -- that dead tree -- the dry creek bed-- the trees reaching up to the sky. I saw it all --- Gods beautiful creation -- waiting there -- each in their place -- waiting -- patiently -- quietly -- for the new day to begin.
I thought to myself --- "You are just like nature really. God made you wonderfully -- He wants you to trust Him -- He allowed you to wake up to another new day. You need to be content --- and most of all --- thankful.
So I sat there --- listening --- as creation around me waited --- for the new day to begin. I sat --- as my heart filled with new hope -- new thoughts --- because I belonged.
"I go to the garden alone --- while the dew is still on the roses"
You may wonder how I could write this after reading my previous post but this just shows you how human we really are, Some more than others. I just couldn't sleep this early morning so I got up and reread this post I had written some time back. Just reading it and placing myself there on that bridge once again made me see life as a privilege.
Love you~
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