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Chapter 30 The Empty Bed

The day dawned bright and beautiful. It was the last of August and Kate was off to her first day of high school. Bret was working his last week at K-Mart. This Saturday we were all going to set up his dorm room that would be home to him for the next year.

Yes I should have been a happy camper. The day was warm and perfect but my heart had this heaviness inside. Our first child was soon leaving the nest. Life would forever be different for us all. My apron strings were just about to be cut. Somehow my heart would have to be divided between two homes. Two homes that were two hours apart. I could do this. I would do this. I was a mother after all.

So we just went through the week a bit in a daze. It seemed that even Bret was feeling the sting of leaving the farm behind. Maybe it was that he was excited to start life in his new world too. I couldn't really read him. Bret was Bret. I knew Kate would miss him and I felt sorry for her. Maybe I felt more sorry for her than myself.

There was some hay that needed to be baled and always the pig chores every morning and night. Mark was busy getting things loaded into the stock trailer. Bret and his cousin, Adam, who he would be rooming with, had bought a bed kit of sorts from a student who had graduated for college. One evening Mark and Bret went to pick that up. Then there were wrenches, hammers, nails, a piece or two of baling wire, and numerous of other things to go into the stock trailer.

There was last minute washing to do and Bret's clothes to pack and put into his white Pontiac. Then there would be sheets, pillows, blankets, towels, soap and all the things that goes along with fending for yourself. So Friday I was busy getting all these little things packed into boxes.

Saturday dawned beautiful. The stock trailer was packed and hooked behind the pickup. The red and chrome motorcycle sat ready to be loaded in the last thing. Kate and Bret carried boxes and boxes to his car while I looked at the list for the last time. Bret was taking his car and bike down and then would ride home with us. He and Adam would take Adam's car back on Sunday evening.

"Well are we ready to hit the road?" Mark asked anxious to get going. He knew that there was a lot to get done before night fall.

"As soon as I load my bike," Bret said hopping on his motorcycle and driving it into the trailer."Are you riding with me Kate?"

"Yea. Have to give you a bad time. After all I wouldn't want you to forget me."

"Start ahead, and we will be close behind. Mother must still be looking to see if she forgot something." Mark said as he got into the pickup and gave a little tap on the horn.

"Oh just a minute, I'm coming" I said under my breath, grabbing my drink and closing the door behind me.

The trip was beautiful. Down interstate to the east we went. Rolling pasture land spread out for miles on either side. Sometimes it is just fun to lean back in the seat and take in all the scenery. It was only a two hour drive but to me it seemed like an eternity. Bret would be so far away! At least that is what it seemed like in the eyes of a mother.

"My land Mark, It looks like every car on interstate is turning off at this exit! Have you ever seen the like." I said as car after car made the right turn and down the exit to highway 18 and on into town.

"Yea, that's how it is when college is starting up. Just wait until we get into town if you think this is bad." Mark said trying to keep up with Bret.

The campus spread out for acres among the hills. White stone building dotted the well kept green lawns. Wide sidewalks made their way among the trees, shrubs, and flower beds. Benches sat here and there under beautiful Oak and Elm trees. It was really breathtaking.

Mark made his way past buildings until we found a parking lot close to a tall white stone building that had a sign out front saying  "Haymaker Hall".  This would be Bret's home away from home for a year.

"Don't you think we should check out the room first before we start carrying things in?" Mark asked Bret as he and Kate walked up to the pickup.

"Most definitely! I'll get the key from the front office and met you just inside the front door." and he and Kate were off.

"Well guess what? Its on sixth floor!" was the report when we met

"Oh great! All that carrying up those stairs! Well we will get our exercise!" I said as we started down the hall.

Mark and I chose to take the elevator up but Bret and Kate raced each other up the six flights of stairs. We came to the door with the number 620 written across the middle. Bret opened it and there it was. A nice size room but cold and bare. Just four walls with a big window on the west. "So this is your home for a year my heart" I said to myself.

"We need to get busy and make this room a home! It looks so cold." I said walking around, looking in the closets.

"Yea we better get busy. Have lots to do in one short day!" Mark said heading back down the hall.

We started to haul in boxes, tools, drills, 2 x 4's, and the bed kit. Some could come up the elevator if you had patience to wait. If not, or if the thing you were carrying was to big, guess what? You got your exercise climbing six flights of stairs.  Soon Adam and his folks came and things went faster.

After about a thousand trips up the stairs and a trip or two to Lowes lumber this little room was looking quite cozy. A love seat sat along the east wall.. There was one bed against the north wall and another one along the south wall. The beds were up in the air so a desk could fit under them. An apartment size refrigerator sat between the two closets. Thanks to Adam's mom it was full of all kinds of homemade goodies already. The bathroom was across the hall.

The beds were made and pillows fluffed up. Cloths were hung in the closets and towels,wash cloths, soap and whatever else were in the dressers. The evening sun was coming through the big west window making a homey glow.

Bret parked his bike and fastened it down. Eight tired people then headed west down interstate, back to the good old farm. One more night. One more morning, One more afternoon, and then good-byes would be said. Two young men would head down the country road, back to their new life on campus.

It was dark when we pulled into the drive way. Mark unhooked the trailer while Bret and Kate headed to the farrowing shed. I busied my self warming up left overs and whatever else I could find to eat. Everybody would be starving.

Talk around the table that evening was mostly about our day spent on campus. A list was being made of things that were forgotten and would need to go with Bret tomorrow. I kept looking over at Kate but she was her usual cheery self. I felt so sorry for her really, being home by herself with two old people. Maybe I could convince Mark that she needed a house cat. She has always wanted one. Now would be the perfect time!

"I have some homework to do." Kate announced getting up and carrying her plate to the sink.

"I'll clean up the kitchen while you all relax" I said shooing them off to do their things. I wanted to be by myself. Sometimes a person just has to have time to think.

Mark read the Grass and Grain setting in his easy chair and Bret headed down stairs. I could hear the light switch as he flipped it on. So the house was quiet for the night. Kate doing her homework and Bret reading a book.

Sunday went fast. Church in the morning and then a fast lunch. Adam would be by to  pick up Bret around 4:00. Mark and I "sacked out" for an hour while Bret and Kate took a bike ride around the section.

A little after four, Adam came a buzzing in the drive way and made a circle in front of the garage and came to a stop, hopping out and running up the back steps and into the kitchen.

"Hi you guys. Is Bret ready?" he said

"Think so. He and Kate just got back from a bike ride. He's cleaning up and should be up pretty soon." Mark said

It wasn't long when Bret came bounding up the steps two at a time with Kate close behind. "Ready buddy" he said to Adam as they bumped each other on the shoulder.

Everyone seemed so excited. Everyone seemed to not care that life was going to be different. Everyone seemed like it was the best thing in the world. Everyone seemed to want to rush out of here. What was wrong with them? Don't they know that a mothers heart was breaking? Didn't they know that the house was going to be so quiet. That a bed was going to be empty tonight. That a sister was going to be lonely down stairs all alone. Didn't they know!!??

"Bye mom" Bret brought me out of my world. "I'll come home Friday night promise."

There were good bye's and hugs and "Call when you get there's" Then they were in the car and driving out the drive way, heading east. I just stood there gazing after the car until it faded out of sight.

The house was so quiet. We all just kind of stood there. Silence filled the hallways, the basement, his room. Silence... where there should be laughter, talking. Something.

"Come Kate help me with the chores and then I'll take a fast bike ride with you." Mark broke the silence.

"That would be great dad! Let's go." and they were out the back door leaving me standing there.

 Tears started down my cheeks. I couldn't help it. I missed his laughter, His jokes. His presence. I missed the other half of my heart that was speeding down interstate at the moment.

"Listen here" I said to myself. "Just get use to it. You wouldn't want them to live with you forever would you? This is life. Accept it and move on."

With that I walked outside and down the lane to the pasture and on north through the cool of the evening. Memories filling my mind and heart.


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