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My Sixth Sense

The other night, as the setting sun was turning the western skies to a soft glow, I found myself standing in the back lawn of a little church, holding a single candle, as it flickered there in the semi-darkness.  The large cottonwoods raised their branches to the darkening heavens. Soft music flowed out into the twilight and circled down among all of us as our little candle let out its flicker against the sunset. I was surrounded by lots of people but the stillness, the quiet, could be felt very strongly as our candles flickered there together. We were all remembering a dear wife, a dear mother, a dear grandma, a dear sister, a dear neighbor, a dear friend.

God so kindly gave me five beautiful gifts. The most precious gift a person could want. He gave me my sight, my touch, my hearing, my smell and my taste. These all are so wonderful. Because of them I can enjoy His great creation. Because of these I can hear those three words "I love you" as my husband tells me, or my little grandchild, or my daughter, my son.

Yes, I'm so thankful for these gifts, but I feel that I have been blessed with yet another sense. I don't even know what to call it really. Maybe my soul feeling? Maybe my imagination? No...I really don't know if there is a name for it. So I want to share with you some of the things it does for me and then maybe you can name it yourself.

As I was standing there in the backyard of that little church the other night, I was seeing the western sky, all lite up in soft colors. I was hearing the quiet silence around me and that soft beautiful singing coming from within the church. I was seeing those huge cottonwoods as they stood there silhouetted against the heavens. I smelled the fresh country air and I saw all those little flickering candle lights. I heard the quiet sob of someone close to me and saw tears on the cheeks of my friend. I saw, I heard, I smelled all these things, but I didn't only see, hear, and smell these things....I felt them deep, deep in my soul.

I have heard the saying "the tears that fall down the cheeks aren't always just from the eyes, but the ones that mean the most are the ones that fall from the heart, the soul, the very inter being of a person. I believe this and I am glad that I can share in this very feeling. A feeling that words cannot explain. A feeling that some people would laugh at me and say "Goodness honey, look on the bright side of life"  But to me it was a gift given to me from somewhere...someone...life's experiences...I don't know, but I will always count it my greatest gift. My greatest sense. It has brought real meaning into my life. Because of it I know the serious, genuine, deep emotional, purpose of life. I count this beautiful.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be blind. Sometimes I go out into the pasture alone and I close my eyes and just sit there on the hillside and let my ears be my guide. I can't see the sunset, I can't see the open green pasture around me. I can't see the trees standing there in the semi-darkness. I can't see the cattle grazing in the pasture off in the distance. I can't see the little stars as they start to appear one by one in the heavens above me. I can't see that large yellow ball that we call the moon as it appears in the eastern sky.

I can't see any of these things because my eyes are closed. But I can hear. I can smell. I hear the quiet descending all around me. I can hear the call of the turtle dove as it goes to sleep. I hear the frogs croaking down by the creek. I can hear the locust singing their happy song as the day turns to evening. I can hear the soft moo of the mother cow off in the distance, and the call of the coyote.  I can smell the fresh country air, and the scent of newly mowed alfalfa. I can feel the hush as one more day comes to an end and night is once again upon us. And that is when my sixth sense starts to work. I can see in my mind's eye the beautiful sunset, I can feel the power of Gods great creation, I can imagine the beauty of the cottonwood, and I can imagine it all as night descends upon me out there in the pasture, and my heart sings. My eyes are closed, but my heart sings because I feel it all deep within my soul, my very being.

Have you ever listened to a song, or watched a movie, or read a book and you start to cry? Sometimes I wonder about myself, but this can happen to me. For some reason the words just touch something deep within because the tears just come. Sometimes I listen to those little things are on Facebook telling about a young person showing their talent in singing or dancing, and before I know it there is a huge lump in my throat and I am so terrible happy for them.

I love to hear my husband whisper those three little words in my ear..."I love you" or be walking hand in hand with one of my grandchildren and they look up at me and say "I love you, Grandma" I love to hear those words, but most of all I love the feeling they give me deep within my being. The feeling of pure joy, that warm glow.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be something special if we could see each other as struggling souls. Remembering that each of us has our own pain and joy. That way we wouldn't see all our flaws. Could we love more deeply? Could we have a deeper understanding? Could we find it easier to care?

I will never forget what a wise old gentleman told me once long ago.  He told me that he had a beautiful rose bush in his back yard. If he stood back and looked at it....it was beautiful. It was perfect. But if he got close and started to exam each rose petal, he started to find flaws.  He told me that this is how he likes to look at people he comes in contact with. He likes to stand away just far enough that they look beautiful...they look perfect.

That is one reason I love my job at the hospital so much. It is there that I can feel my emotions. It is there where my sixth sense kicks in and I am the happiest. I love to sit beside a crying mother. I love to hug a worried grandma. I love to comfort a worried husband, wife, child. I love to give my heart to someone. I love it because I can feel their joy, their pain, their deep sorrow. I can feel it deep in my soul. And I am thankful.

Yes, some of you may not understand and that is ok, but as for myself, I have found the true meaning of living. For me this great sixth sense....my imagination...my soul feeling...I still don't know a true name for it. I am just thankful that someone....something....or life's experiences gave me this beautiful soul searching gift.

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