Skip to main content

A Trip To The Psychiatrist

I jumped out of bed. I had an appointment this morning! A very important appointment! I was visiting my "make believe" psychiatrist. I had to be there in fifteen minutes. He had only three requirements of me.  I was to bring along a simple CD player, my ear phones, and my favorite CD, preferably soft gentle music. I was required to bring an open mind and heart and to leave ALL negative thoughts at home. Shoot I didn't even have to comb my hair!!

My psychiatrist's office isn't fancy. It is a small tractor cab, dust on the dashboard, old oily rag thrown into the corner. The windows could stand a washing but heck why take the time, you could still look out of them if the sun hit them just right.

My dear tired hubby, who has a million and one things to do, insisted on driving the tractor and rake over to the alfalfa field, unfolding it for me, and making sure it would work. I grabbed a piece of toast with a slice of ham, and my jug, climbed in the car and followed him to the alfalfa patch.

After getting everything set, I climbed into the cab, put in my ear phones, flipped on the CD, put the rake into gear, and the tractor into fifth and away we went. Me and my new pardoner, my "make believe psychiatrist".

We were doing great. I sat there all relaxed, listening to soft gentle music fill my ears, my mind, my heart. "He" just sat there beside me....smiling to himself....enjoying the ride. To our left was a bright golden wheat field, blowing softly in the breeze. Just ahead was the green pasture stretching as far as the eye could see. A row of old prairie hay bales was lined up beside the hedge row at the end of the field. To our right was a new planted field of soybeans, its rows as straight as a ruler. The most important thing was...the sun was shining, all was going well, The tune of "The Rose"  "That Silver-haired Daddy Of Mine" was pouring into my ears, and my heart was totally happy. This was going to be a good day. I could just feel it!

That's when "he" threw the monkey wrench into the whole business! You see our lesson for this session was to see what causes me to develop negative thoughts,to recognize them and learn how to change them into positive.

So...yes we were just a cruising right along, I was thinking to myself..."I'm so happy that I could be out here this morning, listening to music, watching the windrows fall together behind the rake all even....a dark green. I hadn't even left a big bunch...yet.

Then it happened! I looked behind and the rake had stopped moving, and hay was piling up in big bunches! Oh great! I just sat there for a bit not knowing what had happened for sure. My "make believe psychiatrist" just sat there beside me,,,,quiet,,,,waiting to see what my reaction would be. He soon found out!

The negative thoughts hid me like a hail storm. Bam...bam...bam... They came pouring into my mind and out my mouth as if someone would hear me and come to my aid. WHY ANOTHER break down. Haven't we had enough of those things! I mean that is all my poor husband has been doing for the last week! Right now the pickup is just setting because the clutch is out and you can't get it into the gear. The sprayer won't start because the alternator needs worked on, The swather blew a hose the other day and ten gallon of hydraulic oil went spraying all over the place! Harvest is ready and we still have hay to put up, We both are tired, but have to keep going somehow! On and on those negative thoughts came on...and on...and on!

And besides WHY doesn't my husband hire himself a hired hand who could put out the rake, who could make the first round around the hay field, who could splice a barb wire fence?  Why does he always think he needs to help me? Good grief I'm 64 years old. I'm suppose to be helping him,,,not him helping me. And now!! I have to call him AGAIN and ask him to come over and get me out of this fix! How humiliating!  Grrrr...... But my "make believe psychiatrist" just sat there, letting me get it all out.

Then a little voice said..."OK now that you have given me your line,,,why don't you  just get off the tractor, go back and assess the problem, call your husband, listen very closely to his tone of voice, then lets you and I go for a little walk around the field while we wait for him. We need to talk"

So off I got...called my hubby,,,listened to his tone of voice,,,and started walking. He was very gentle. He said   "I'll be over in a sec  Just have to decided what I need to bring."

That little voice said to me as we walked..OK.... now is life really that bad? Take a deep breath of that fresh cut alfalfa. Lift your eyes to the dark blue sky. Stop for a minute and lean your head back and close your eyes. Feel the warm sun on your face. Listen to that bob white somewhere out there in the pasture grass. Now take another deep breath,,,,You are alive! You are standing out here in your beautiful world of wonder! You are free! You live in the United States of America.

And most of all you have a husband who loves you deeply. His words are few but his actions are full of love, care and concern, for his children, his grandchildren,but most of all for you. That is why he puts out the rake for you. That's why he makes the first swath around the alfalfa field for you. That's why he asked you to go with him to bale last night. That's why he eats the toasted chocolate chip cookies and doesn't say a word.

So my dear friend,,,you have made a huge step here. First you recognized when you were thinking negative and why, and then you stopped and looked around. You need to remember that life is not going to be a "bed of roses". It can't be.  But remember that within every human heart there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.  So when life gets tough,,,,stop,,,,stand just outside your door,,,,lift your face to the sky,,, and let the sun hit your face, or the soft moonbeams shine down over your closed eyes and say to yourself.  I'm the luckiest girl alive.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Heart Love Story

Our bodies are made so magnificent. It is beyond words how each part works together, allowing us to laugh, cry, love, feel, smell and enjoy this wonderful world of beauty. I don't know about the rest of you, but my little mind is very busy! Every minute it is thinking. It goes here and it goes there, trying to find thoughts to run through my being. I was told to set my timer for 30 seconds and see if I could stop thinking. Guess what? I couldn't!! My mind just kept on going, and going.  In my case, a lot of times these things are negative, things that make me worry. Things that look so big and ugly. Things that can scare me.  There are so many things happening around us these days. Bad things. Shootings, hurricanes, wild fires, earthquakes, wars, sad experiences that happen right in our own life.  So many bad things that could overtake my whole being. Yes, my little mind is a busy little fellow. But you know what? Deep inside of me lays another little being. I like ...

God Knows

I have been asked quite a few times:  "How did you learn to write?"    "Did you go to college or something?"  My fast answer to both questions is,   "No. I didn't even like high school, except for the "fun" I had." But....you know I have given those two questions more thought as of late.  I have changed my answer.  "Yes, I did go to college, just not the one with all those big buildings, dorm rooms, and huge classrooms with a professor standing down in front.  In my college, I didn't learn to be a doctor, a nurse, an engineer, or a teacher.  In my college, I learned to forgive and to forget.  I learned how to say good bye to grudges.  I learned how to break down walls and let love and compassion flow into my heart.  I learned to accept myself and be thankful for the place God has put me in.  I learned to see the beauty all around me, and be thankful for all things, even the smallest little thing....

The Heart Buds {Current}

She rocked back and forth there on the deck as the sun sank lower in the western skies. It had been one of those days that she was so happy to be alive. So happy to let her heart fly free in the warm breeze. She sat there wondering...what was happening to her? She had changed somehow. Oh yes she will forever be a farmers wife. She will always love the feel of wind in her hair, sunshine on her face, raindrops dripping off her nose. She will forever love to sit among the pasture grass on a warm summers night, and watch as the sun turns the western sky to oranges and golds. Or raise her face to let the moonbeams dance all around her, or thrill to the call of the coyote. She will always love the simple country life. She always loved the springtime on the farm. She loved to watch as tiny little buds popped out on a tree limb. She loved to see the pear trees spread their white cloud of blossoms against the dark blue sky. She loved to kneel there in the flower beds, take her hand and wipe...