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Through the Storm

It is 5:00 in the morning and sleep will not come. Inside her head the thunder roars and the lighting flashes. There is a storm. Life has brought on a storm. She can not talk to anyone. She will just make life harder for them. She felt so alone. So she got up quietly, so not to disturb her husband, pull the door shut, and went to the couch and grab up her computer and wrote. She wrote and wrote, trying to calm the storm raging inside her head. The sadness filling her soul. The sadness not for herself but for someone dear to her heart. Someone who is bravely facing their own storm. They think they are alone, but they are not. In the silence of the night she is fighting beside them. They don't know this. They don't know that her light is on and she is fighting beside them in her heart. They can't know this because they live in separate homes.  They live in separate homes, but their hearts are one.

Why does life bring storms? Why can't it just be smooth sailing? Why can't the sun always shine? Is there a lesson in the storm?  What good is it doing to her heart?

She is a farmers wife. She knows the beauty of a storm. When you think of a storm you sometimes think of destruction, and she knows that sometimes there is destruction. She know that, but there is also a beauty in a storm.

She has laid awake on a summer night in the darkness of their bedroom. Far in the distance she can hear the low rumble of thunder, and once in a while a light flash of the lightning. She walked to the window and open the shades and stood there looking out into the darkness. She just stood there watching.... as the storm climbs higher in the heavens, coming toward their home. The thunder grew loader and the flashes come more often, lighting up the sky. She just stood there watching.

Out of nowhere comes a clap of thunder immediately followed by a bright flash that filled the bedroom. She shutters but stays standing at the window.  Now the wind it starting to build. Through the flashes of the lightning, she sees the big maple tree swaying in the wind. More flashes and more claps of thunder. More wind. The storm is building. It is getting closer. It is upon them. Huge drops of rain fall down, hitting against the window. Then hail hits just outside the window pane.  Still she stands there looking out. Huge drops of rain beating against the glass, driven by the wind.

As soon as it came, it all stops. A silence falls over the land. The big maple stands still. The lightning gets less and less and in the distance she hears the low rumble of the thunder as it goes on its way, leaving behind the stillness of the dark night. All is calm. All is black outside her window, but it is calm. The storm has passed over, leaving behind a freshness. A stillness. A promise of new life. A promise of pasture grasses, huge rows of alfalfa, the promise of little bean plants, and fruitful days.  But it took the storm. That beautiful storm.

As she stood looking out the window, she was protected. She did not fear the thunder and the flashes of the lightning. Not a drop of rain hit her upturned face. She stood there just inside the house, as she beheld the rage of the storm.  She quietly go back to bed and crawls under the covers. Sleep finds her once again and she sleeps until the chatter of a happy bird just outside her window awakes her.  It is still to dark to see very far but that little bird is singing to her. It is telling her that everything will be ok. Just trust in the One who controls the storms.

That little bird was somewhere out in the storm last night.She don't know where he found his safety but she does know that he is singing to her this morning. He started to sing before her husbands alarm went off. He could sing after he sat through the storm. He can sing and so can she. He can trust and so can she.

So once again she asks herself. Why does life bring storms?  Why can't it just be smooth sailing?  Why can't the sun always shine?  Is there a lesson in a storm? What good is it doing to her heart?

If the sun always shined, and there was never the rain, there would never be a harvest. If the sun always shined, and there was never the storm, she would never hear the miracle of the thunder or stand at the window looking out as the lightning filled the heavens. If the sun always shined, and there was never the storm, she would never know what it meant to have her heart heavy and then experience a stillness so great that you don't dare to whisper. If the sun always shined, she would not have the privilege of feeling the pain of another's storm. She would not be able to share in their storm. Her heart would not be sympathetic toward another.

So as she sat there alone on the couch, she considered her choices. Is she ok with feeling the storm rage inside her soul, for another? Or would she rather close her heart and mind and have sunshine all the time?  Does she really enjoy walking beside people everyday who are facing their own storms? Does she really want to feel their pain, put a arm around their shoulder, walk down the hospital hall, hand in hand, as they pour out their hearts to her. Does she really find a peace within her heart after she has walked through the storm with another?  These questions are heavy on her mind this early morning. What is her true heartfelt answer? Would she give this all up? Would she be happier without it all?  She just sat there....thinking. What was her answer?

From deep down inside her very being the answer comes. There would be on peace within her if she chose to close her heart to another. There would be on happiness without tears. There would be no personal satisfaction without reaching out to another. There would not be a song without going through the storm with another.

So yes, life's experiences, even the storms, has brought a beauty into her soul that nothing else has ever done. She can't explain in words to you what has happened deep inside her heart. It hasn't been all storms. There has been more TRUE sunshine in her life these last months than ever before. In the storms she has found the REAL meaning of life. She has found the REAL meaning of love.  She has found the REAL meaning of sharing with another. A REAL self satisfaction.




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